


A Light in the Darkness

by sacredsymbol821



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Gen, This is not a shippy fic, spoilers for blue lions route, with a happy ending?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 05:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20270995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacredsymbol821/pseuds/sacredsymbol821
Summary: Byleth wonders what happened to Dimitri over the past 5 years, and can't help but blame himself.





	A Light in the Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Just reiterating that this has Blue Lions and General Spoilers up until Chapter 12 or 13 of Blue Lions route, so be aware of that. I'll talk more after the fic.

Byleth woke in a cold sweat and immediately leapt out of bed. He was in his room, but everytime he woke up in the middle of the night like this, he was afraid to step outside. He was afraid, more than anything, that he’d slept 5 years again, and that when he stepped out into the monastery, he would be alone again.

If Dimitri was haunted by him for the past 5 years, he was haunted by the man now. The eyepatch was one thing- that happened in war, and Byleth knew this, but the isolation was something he had never seen before. Dimitri had given up on the world- and himself.

He wasn’t at that point yet. Maybe the 5 year nap had been good for something, after all. Or maybe he could have stopped that downward spiral early. 

He took a deep breath and walked outside, without his coat on.

It was early January, and Garreg Mach had never had the coldest winters, but it was cold enough that he felt the goosebumps on his skin begin to form. Still, he didn’t go back for his coat, instead walking forward and towards the Knights Hall..

He could still hear the stunned silence after Edelgard had declared war on the church of Seiros. Everywhere he went, he heard footsteps that weren’t there, or whispers that weren’t there. As a result, he didn’t roam the grounds too much.

He had slept for five years, somehow, and that still bothered him. Some of his students had outgrown him, and even though his heart was heavy, he found himself at the graveyard, staring at the spot where his parents were buried. 

He never had time to come down here five years ago- Edelgard made sure of that. Still, though, he sat next to the gravestone and let everything wash away from him for a second, the only thing he could feel being the chill in the air and the cold on his skin.

The last thing he remembered was being thrown into a canyon. After that, it was one big blank, until he had woken in that village not far from the monastery. He went back before that, to trying to stop Dimitri from doing anything stupid to watch the boy he’d been teaching for a year become a demon, almost, squishing a man’s skull with his bare hands without any regard for his own life, let alone Byleths’. He had never been so scared and horrified in his life.

He opened his eyes, letting a breath out with the memories as his breath blew smoke into the air. It had begun to snow, an oddity for Garreg Mach, but not unexpected this time of year, and the sky was beginning to turn blue as the sun announced its presence. It was the start of a new day, almost.

“Hi, mom. Hi, Dad.” Byleth spoke, almost shocking himself with how loud he was.

“I didn’t mean to sleep for five years, but I did, and I have a lot to fix. The monastery being the least of it, believe it or not.” He continued, taking off the glove on his right hand and pressing it to the tombstone, which was cold, but smooth to the touch.

“I guess I’m out here for answers, which I don’t expect you to give, seeing as you’re both dead. Guidance would still be nice, though. How do I restore a man to what I know he can be?” He finished, then quieted and closed his eyes.

Dimitri’s smile at the end of the Battle of Eagle and Lion was the first image that popped into his mind. Even though it was still burdened, it was the most authentic smile he had ever seen out of the boy.

The world needed him at his best right now, and the young man was at his lowest point.

He didn’t need to change him entirely, just coax him out of the betrayed shell he had ever right to put on.

There was only one way out of this, and even if it pained him, he had to go through with it.

Byleth opened his eyes. The sun was high in the sky now, and he put his hand down and shook off the snow before putting the glove back on.

“Professor! I think I’ve found him, Mercedes!” A voice came from behind him.

It was almost noon.

He had probably missed the war meeting.

Oh.

His hair was still snowy and now he had to deal with his far too aged students in nothing but his hair and a shirt, but they needed his guidance more than ever right now, so he turned around.

Ingrid was waving Mercedes down, and Byleth realized how cold he was from all the snow. He blinked, then shook his head to make it appear as if he hadn’t been in the snow for hours like a child in the middle of war time.

He unclasped his hands and looked toward the rapidly approaching Mercedes and Ingrid. Mercedes did not look one bit happy with him, her usual airy smile turned into a very stern frown. Ingrid just looked tired, like they all did these days.

“Professor!” 

“Hi, Ingrid. Is something the matter?” He asked, doing his best to fight the chill going up his spine because he was waiting for Mercedes to frown even more.

“Yes. Well, no. Everyone noticed you weren’t at the strategy meeting.” She admitted sheepishly.

“Oh. I apologize for that, but I got caught up here.” He replied.

“Professor, just how long were you out here? You look wet as anything!” Mercedes remarked. The frown hadn’t disappeared from her face.

“Well, I came out here for a quick walk. That was before the sun came out.” He admitted.

“Professor, that’s how you catch a cold! You must be more careful with your health. And you have no coat on!” She began.

“I know, I’m sorry. I was just-” He took that thought back before he even said it, and closed his mouth in the process.

He wasn’t going to let them know what had led him out here, as they were all just as worried about him as he was.

“Saying hi to my family.” He changed it to quickly. It wasn’t a complete lie, but he still felt a bitter taste when he swallowed afterwards.

“Of course.” Ingrid replied.

Even Mercedes nodded at that. 

“We can fill you in on everything you missed on the meeting in the Dining Hall?” Ingrid asked.

Mercedes nodded, then helpfully added, “And Hot Cocoa to warm you up!”

Byleth went to answer when his stomach growled, and he looked down at it before looking back at them.

“That would be wonderful, actually.” He said and allowed himself to be led away from the graveyard.

>>>>>>

He found himself in the Cathedral after being filled in on everything. It was mid afternoon, and as far as he was concerned, he was done praying for the day, especially with the sniffly nose that Mercedes had warned him about, but he had something to do. 

Ashe was is in the Cathedral too, and looked up at him quizzically before going back to praying. The figure he was looking for, however, was right in front of the collapsed rubble, staring at the ground.

The living husk of Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd was always there, never attending war meetings or even interacting with anyone.

Before he lost his nerve, Byleth went to stand next to him.

He heard Ashe let out a squeak of indignation, but he was way too far gone to stop him.

He stood next to Dimitri, who didn’t seem to notice him.

Byleth turned to face him- the boy that he knew once- took a breath, and began to speak.

“Hi.” He started, and stopped.

Dimitri turned toward him.

“I know you’re going through a rough time right now, but I’m not giving up on you. Ever.” He continued.

Dimitri continued to stare at him with those dead eyes of his. 

“I just wanted to let you know that. When you’re ready to come back, we’ll have the door open for you. I’m not leaving until you say something, by the way.” He added.

“Go away.” Was the response he got.

He nodded, then walked out of the Cathedral.

>>>>>>>

Of all the whispering going on in his head, there was one particularly annoying ghost at that moment in time. The ghost of his teacher was always annoying, but today it decided to talk to him. 

The green eyes looked right into his as if he was living, which was impossible in the first place.

“Hi.” 

Dimitri gritted his teeth.

There was a small smile on the mint ghost’s face.

The ghost said something about not giving up on Dimitri, and he almost laughed in his face. Didn’t he know there was nothing to save? Everyone else had given up on him, but this damn ghost was saying the exact opposite of what the others’ told him on a daily basis.

Then the Professor’s Ghost went on to say that the door was open for him to come back. Whatever that meant. 

The others’ whispers dulled at that moment, and the only one he could hear was the green ghost. He made a mental note, if he saw the Professor in the afterlife before he went to eternal damnation, to stab him for being a nuisance. And the Professor wasn’t going away, either. 

Dimitri looked at the still there ghost, still smiling softly, and yelled at him to Go Away. The Professor had been the only light he had, but he too had left him, like everyone else had.

This ghost listened, nodded, and walked away. 

Dimitri stared after the ghost, wondering why this one, out of all the other one’s, obeyed him on command. He was astounded that the Professor’s ghost actually listened.

For five years, Dimitri’s heart had been closed off to any warm feeling except for the feeling of blood on it. At first, he thought there was blood on it, and he went to feel his heart to feel the warmth of the familiar sticky substance on it, but he felt nothing but the furs he wore. 

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd didn’t want to believe it- he so far from the light to feel anything but how evil he was- but for the first time in five years, a flicker of hope emitted from his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to ramble a bit in these notes, so this is going to be long.  
-Firstly, I don't plan for this to be my only FETH fic, not by a long shot. I am surprised my first one is about Dimitri, who I will admit I was going to do last but then ended up doing his route after my first Golden Deer run, but I like his character a lot more than I thought I would. I'm nearly done with Blue Lions route and loving it.  
-I ended up relating to Dimitri a lot, especially as someone who had rampant nightmares as a kid on top of the other stuff going on with him.  
-This isn't a happy fic for either of them, but I'm not leaving it at that for them, if my brain wants to cooperate.  
-I usually write happier/shippier stuff than this, so this was the change of pace I needed to break me out of my writers' block, I hope.  
-This fic was partially inspired by Byleth's post skip crit voice line, "I'll give them something to believe in!",while he was standing right next to Dimitri on the battlefield  
I hope you like reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I appreciate any and all feedback regarding this fic or my other ones!


End file.
